Happy Holidays! I hope that everyone reading this is enjoying time with family and friends in their own tradition. This is a time for reflection, but my interest in diving deeply into financial topics has been low recently. As I sit amongst a pile of used wrapping paper and cookie crumbs, allow me to reflect on something else.
By chance, my wife recently met a nurse that worked in the pediatric ICU at the same time that our youngest daughter spent some time there. Nearly exactly four years ago today, she experienced sudden, unexplained seizures that lasted on and off for nearly 48 hours. I’ll never forget the uncontrollable screaming and violent movements, the cage that she was put inside to keep her from climbing out and hurting herself. The feeling of complete helplessness. I won’t go into detail, but the short version is that after years of behavioral and speech therapy (and ongoing anti-seizure medication twice every day), she is now at a mainstream kindergarten school. She is a happy, hilarious, spunky little human. She is a fighter.
Where the nurse comes in is that she remembers both our daughter and another child that came in with the same starting conditions, but for the other child the seizures didn’t stop and they never recovered “normal” brain function. This other child has been on my mind. Both of their lives could have been very different. They were equally innocent. We were lucky. I was overcome again by that same feeling of helplessness.
There is so much we can’t control. I couldn’t choose the country where I was born. I couldn’t choose my parents. I couldn’t choose my genes. I couldn’t choose my gender or race or sexual orientation or decade that I was born. I couldn’t choose to have working eyes, ears, or nervous system.
Yet I crave control. Take this site. I want to control how to make more money. I want to control how to spend less money. I want to find the best way to invest that difference into ownership of businesses and other assets. I want these money factories reliably provide me a stream of income. I want to be be able to walk away from bloated corporations, the blind following of metrics, and self-enriching executives. I want spend my time doing something meaningful and fulfilling. I have worked decades for this ability. I have been very fortunate that for the most part, more work has equalled more results. Yet I would give every single penny up if I was the parent of the other child, in order to switch situations with my child.
So that’s the paradox that I’ve been thinking about. We need to respect that we can’t control the cards of which we’ve been dealt, and neither can anyone else. There would be much more grace and forgiveness in this world if we all remembered that. However, we also need to play our own cards as well as we possibly can. So many people don’t feel like they have a chance, so they don’t bother trying. I feel it is critically important that everyone feels they have a chance. Even if effort and reward are not always directly linked, we need to act as if our efforts are worth it. How do you help encourage yourself and others to keep up the effort?
While trying to work this out internally, I appreciated these quotes from Mahatma Ghandi:
Satisfaction lies in the effort, not in the attainment, full effort is full victory.
Glory lies in the attempt to reach one’s goal and not in reaching it.
You may never know what results come of your actions, but if you do nothing, there will be no results.
Change yourself – you are in control.